Whether we teach privately or in a classroom, there will be times when one of our students will become disappointed, or frustrated with him or herself. We must teach our students that improvement is healthy competition. We can teach students to minimize the word lose and focus on the words, "learning experience". We can guide our students with healthy techniques that will help them deal with disappointment.

It's always helpful to have them reflect on those things that they HAVE done well on or improved in a specific area.

There are extenuating circumstances associated with the feelings of disappointment. Many times a student will be more concerned about what others think of them because of their loss. It's important for us to explain that all people experience loss and share with them various stories of others that have overcome their "losses" to accomplish their goals.

It's also important to allow the student to vent their frustration with themself. Listen to them and remember to not negate their feelings. Tell them that you understand. Share with them a similar situation when you have felt disappointed. Share the importance of never giving up and that all people go through difficult times in dealing with disappointment.

Tell your student that we pursue excellence, not perfection. Most successful people will tell you that some of the most important lessons they've learned in their lives were things they viewed as "failures" at the time. They used their failures to develop new attitudes and skills that helped them to move forward to the opportunities of improvement and eventual success in reaching their goals.

It is how we cope with failure that shapes us, not the failure itself.

Thomas Edison believed there were no such things as mistakes, only "eliminated options" that brought him one step closer to his goal.

If you develop and focus on a strong reason or purpose to keep going, you will succeed at each step taken toward your goal.

Soichiro Honda persevered through countless failures and setbacks over four decades before his Honda Motor Company became one of the largest automobile companies in the world. His inspiring story demonstrates the power of perseverance in the face of adversity and the need for innovation and creativity in periods of failure and loss.

Captain Oliver Hazard Perry is famous for captaining the ship that bore the flag that read, "Don't give up the ship" during the War of 1812. The little known fact is that he did, in fact, abandon that ship! When 80 percent of his men were dead and his ship was sinking, he paddled a little john-boat over to another ship, took control of it, and soundly defeated the British in the Battle of Lake Erie.

If we teach our students to persevere, they WILL gain wisdom and begin to realize why they went through everything they did to reach their goals.

Remember, to share with your student that just because they may have failed does not mean they are a failure. Failure is an attitude, not a place.

When we learn to welcome challenges and love problem solving, disappointments will disappear.

Many heroes of the past have blazed a trail for us to follow for overcoming tragedies and failures. To read more about some of these heroes visit: Basic Famous People

References:

Daniel Castro, an expert source on overcoming challenges and creating innovative solutions, is author of Critical Choices That Change Lives. It follows the careers of personalities such as Lance Armstrong, Walt Disney and Martin Luther King Jr. as they made the critical decision that turns their tragedies into triumphs. For more information, visit www.dancastro.com

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